Day 4
Belonging
There is this "club." You join this club when you are a parent who loses a child. You don't have a title as an official member- there isn't one. You join silently. You don't get a big ceremony with other members. You quietly meet them by finding them in areas of your day to day life, and you share a sad knowing smile. You feel their support and you find some solace in the fact that they are the only ones who "get it." No one wants to be in this club. I hate it. But i don't get to quit or unjoin, and I am a known member. Other people in my life now treat me as a known member. When i meet new people, i have a choice to reveal my membership upfront, or have it revealed later, because at some point, with any real relationship, it will be.
There is a sense of separateness within me. Often it is imagined and created by myself. How do I relate to people now? I don't know. Not yet.. I'm still figuring out who I am now. It's only been 6 months. I find acceptance in the club, but it is also the most depressing club ever.
Day 5
Soul Therapy
What is good for your soul? It used to be easy. It was dance and art in general. This has shifted over the years. The other night i went to Zumba. I hadnt danced or moved like that in a long time. It felt good. I felt my soul was lighter afterwards for a little while.
Music is good for my soul. I try to listen and sing along as much as i can.
Family. Clinging to my family is so necessary. If i didn't have them to remind me to keep going, do my best... i would be a bigger mess than i am. And I'm not doing that great right now! They are my reason to get up each day and try again.
Belonging
There is this "club." You join this club when you are a parent who loses a child. You don't have a title as an official member- there isn't one. You join silently. You don't get a big ceremony with other members. You quietly meet them by finding them in areas of your day to day life, and you share a sad knowing smile. You feel their support and you find some solace in the fact that they are the only ones who "get it." No one wants to be in this club. I hate it. But i don't get to quit or unjoin, and I am a known member. Other people in my life now treat me as a known member. When i meet new people, i have a choice to reveal my membership upfront, or have it revealed later, because at some point, with any real relationship, it will be.
There is a sense of separateness within me. Often it is imagined and created by myself. How do I relate to people now? I don't know. Not yet.. I'm still figuring out who I am now. It's only been 6 months. I find acceptance in the club, but it is also the most depressing club ever.
Day 5
Soul Therapy
What is good for your soul? It used to be easy. It was dance and art in general. This has shifted over the years. The other night i went to Zumba. I hadnt danced or moved like that in a long time. It felt good. I felt my soul was lighter afterwards for a little while.
Music is good for my soul. I try to listen and sing along as much as i can.
Family. Clinging to my family is so necessary. If i didn't have them to remind me to keep going, do my best... i would be a bigger mess than i am. And I'm not doing that great right now! They are my reason to get up each day and try again.
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