A Day to Shine / Student of Life

Day 12 A Day to Shine

Challenge yourself to spread love and let your child's love shine through. Share kindness.

This is admittedly, hard for me. I struggle with cynicism and negativity since losing Pearl. Honestly, I have a chip on my shoulder. The "why me? why her? why us?" affects a lot of my day to day. But, I try to come to terms with it, and think of the kind of person Pearl (I hope) knew me as, and would want me to be. I am challenging myself to be more patient, kind and forgiving, though most days, I feel like a total jerk.

Day 13 Student of Life

Learn something new.
I am always striving to learn something new. Researching is fun for me, so I have chosen to dive into learning about ways to help my kids. I am reading several books, my favorite right now is Kids Beyond Limits - the anat baniel method. It is a very relevant topic for our kids, and I am finding simple, yet amazing ways to help them develop.
http://www.anatbanielmethod.com/products/books/kids-beyond-limits
It is also filled with inspirational anecdotes about kids who were transformed through the method, and yes, it is keeping my spirits up and giving me tons of hope! Not a bad thing

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Unanswered

This coming week is going to be a full one, with lots of big appointments and also the usual fanfare thrown in for good measure. To update, Loie has indeed been discharged from her home health care nurse :( Sad face, only because we love Sami and will miss her boisterous personality coming through our door, giving us helpful advice, smiles, and always confident hope! Thank you Sami for seeing us through the rough transition from NICU to home. You have been our training wheels so to speak, and you are not just a nurse, but you are a mom who "gets it" too. I can't believe it has been six months since we took Loie home from the hospital.... Loie weighs exactly 13 pounds now, as of her latest appointment. She had a brief time where she was teetering and even lost a little bit of weight, because we've all been hit hard with autumn-time illnesses. Poor Lennon woke up one night, on FIRE with a 104 degree fever-turns out was caused by strep throat. :( Loie developed a rattl...

This is our normal

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Belonging/ Soul Therapy

Day 4 Belonging There is this "club." You join this club when you are a parent who loses a child. You don't have a title as an official member- there isn't one. You join silently. You don't get a big ceremony with other members. You quietly meet them by finding them in areas of your day to day life, and you share a sad knowing smile. You feel their support and you find some solace in the fact that they are the only ones who "get it." No one wants to be in this club. I hate it. But i don't get to quit or unjoin, and I am a known member. Other people in my life now treat me as a known member. When i meet new people, i have a choice to reveal my membership upfront, or have it revealed later, because at some point, with any real relationship, it will be. There is a sense of separateness within me. Often it is imagined and created by myself. How do I relate to people now? I don't know. Not yet.. I'm still figuring out who I am now. It's o...

Three Little Birds

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