Sometimes, a small thing can bring your mind crashing back to another time, a memory you'd thought was safely stored away.
For us, it's the smell of the triage, and the antiseptic soap in the hospital... the binging and pinging machines, a heart rate monitor... hearing a code blue over the speakers, hoping that for that family, everything turns out okay.
On Tuesday morning, I checked in to labor and delivery, to be induced with our fourth child, at 41 weeks. This was not a "secret", but rather something very precious we were keeping guarded, close to our hearts. Most everyone in our lives did not know, please don't take offense. It was just the way we wanted it.
On Tuesday evening, after laboring far too intensely for minimal progress, and seeing that baby was in distress and at risk of danger, they decided to quickly do a c section. Our third daughter, Birdy, was born at 6:52 PM on January 22nd. They planned on laying her on my chest, so I could meet her. When I noticed that hadn't happened, and i saw them helping her to breath, my heart nearly stopped. Her color and respiration was poor, so she went with Dad to NICU.
Everything's fine now, thankfully. As I write this, I am once again immersed in the scenery and soundtrack that accompanied the worst day of my life. I'm in the same room we took Loie to, after her other half was gone. There are twins, getting bathed and fed by their happy, doting parents, on the other side of this curtain. And that's okay. I hope they never have to feel this bittersweet pain. As I walk the hall, I make mental notes of people - you were there, and you were there, and you... when our daughter died. A lot of people remember us, and Loie, and Pearl.
Birdy is here, and we are together at last. Hopefully she can be released from NICU timorrow and come home with me. I can't wait to be home, to be complete! To be away from this place, which is so wonderful, but also so very hard to be back in.
Welcome to the world, little Birdy.
7 lb 11 oz.
21.5 in.
She's perfect <3 nbsp="" p="">
For us, it's the smell of the triage, and the antiseptic soap in the hospital... the binging and pinging machines, a heart rate monitor... hearing a code blue over the speakers, hoping that for that family, everything turns out okay.
On Tuesday morning, I checked in to labor and delivery, to be induced with our fourth child, at 41 weeks. This was not a "secret", but rather something very precious we were keeping guarded, close to our hearts. Most everyone in our lives did not know, please don't take offense. It was just the way we wanted it.
On Tuesday evening, after laboring far too intensely for minimal progress, and seeing that baby was in distress and at risk of danger, they decided to quickly do a c section. Our third daughter, Birdy, was born at 6:52 PM on January 22nd. They planned on laying her on my chest, so I could meet her. When I noticed that hadn't happened, and i saw them helping her to breath, my heart nearly stopped. Her color and respiration was poor, so she went with Dad to NICU.
Everything's fine now, thankfully. As I write this, I am once again immersed in the scenery and soundtrack that accompanied the worst day of my life. I'm in the same room we took Loie to, after her other half was gone. There are twins, getting bathed and fed by their happy, doting parents, on the other side of this curtain. And that's okay. I hope they never have to feel this bittersweet pain. As I walk the hall, I make mental notes of people - you were there, and you were there, and you... when our daughter died. A lot of people remember us, and Loie, and Pearl.
Birdy is here, and we are together at last. Hopefully she can be released from NICU timorrow and come home with me. I can't wait to be home, to be complete! To be away from this place, which is so wonderful, but also so very hard to be back in.
Welcome to the world, little Birdy.
7 lb 11 oz.
21.5 in.
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